Does RIE Exist After Age Two?
By Roseann Murphy
Many people wonder if RIE exists after the age of two. It always makes me wonder why. Perhaps it is because of the perception that Magda Gerber's training is specifically directed towards children under the age of two, when in fact it is a timeless philosophy, a methodology that can be used throughout life. The longer I have studied Magda's work, the more evident this truth has become.
Authenticity, honesty, consistency, and respect—these are all words to live by, whether you are dealing with your six-year-old, your teenager, your spouse, or your co-worker. Everyone wishes they could be treated in the respectful RIE philosophy.
My first introduction to Magda Gerber and RIE was in the late 1970’s; Resources for Infant Educarers was a concept Magda introduced while teaching at Pacific Oaks college, Pasedena, California. Her teaching methods certainly exemplified the philosophy. This is why it is so intriguing to listen to her speak. This is why, when I heard her speak, I longed for more. It was not about age. The RIE philosophy can benefit anyone at any stage of life and it is timeless.
Magda's work is not about high chairs and pacifiers. It is not about sitting down to eat or not playing with your infant. It is not about allowing your child to make the rules in your house. It is about life and guidelines. It is about resurfacing as parents, parents who use their intellect and their intuition. It is about waiting and resisting the urge to enter every class and push children beyond their limits. RIE is about patience and relaxation and trusting yourself and your child.
I am amazed at how often adults today relinquish their position as parents, some out of fear their children won’t love them, some out of fear they will make the same mistakes their parents did. Many parents seem to have forgotten they are on this Earth to guide and show their children the way.
RIE definitely exists beyond age two. What five-year-old wouldn’t appreciate being taught what the boundaries are and then being left to their own resources to play? Which thirteen-year-olds wouldn’t appreciate being given the chance to stretch their wings, while knowing they have a safe place to land and that someone will say “no” when it’s necessary?
RIE is a foreign language in today’s society. Magda's work asks parents to allow children to grow and develop as they should, maturing slowly as flowers are allowed to do. Instead, our society dictates exactly the opposite: "Push them through the stages." "More is better." Television, video games, concerts, soccer, ballet, football, gymnastics (all adult-led activities). Even a teenager couldn’t keep up with all of this and yet we ask small children to survive so many activities.
On the other hand, Magda's work does not suggest sitting back and letting your children go wild. The work suggests thoughtful parenting should allow children to grow in their own time.
“Grow in your own time” does not mean to abandon all rights of adults while infants, toddlers, and teens are allowed to do whatever they please (in the name of growth and development). RIE suggests setting clear limits and allowing everyone’s needs to be met. It means letting go of the fear that if you, as the adult, use common sense and set guidelines, your child’s creativity will be forever stifled.
RIE must continue past age two. Magda's work is what every parent longs for. It means creating an environment that is slow-paced, with no schedules and no phones or screens, and enjoying those treasured moments when you and the children are allowed to “just be.”
Roseann Murphy is the Director of the Little River School, Malibu, California.
This is a revised edition, April, 2020.
The original edition was published in the Educaring magazine at the request of Magda Gerber in 1996.
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VOLUME 17, NO.4, Page 4 FALL, 1996
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